Conclusion of Week Three of Empty Nest Syndrome


Cheers to you, little man. Miss you!

The end of our third week of Empty Nest happens to coincide with my birthday — so happy birthday to me?!

Seriously, I think I can talk about the situation now. It’s not as raw and I have some perspective. So here it is:

My kid is smart. Super whip smart. Certified smart in test after test. I mean, so smart it created problems from second grade through graduation because he didn’t fit in any school district box (and children shouldn’t have to! another post…).

He is also a serious dumbass. I think it’s safe to say he suffers from Teen-Lack-of-Frontal-Lobes Syndrome (if I suffer from a syndrome, so shall he).

His judgement was severely lacking the last few months and he made some choices that forced his dad car elliotand I to make even harsher decisions. This resulted in a sudden empty nest rather than the celebratory, well-planned empty nest I anticipated.

The good news is that no one was hurt, no property was damaged, and no one is going to sue us for stupid stuff he was doing. (How much damage can one cause with a 28′ twin engine cabin cruiser filled with teenagers on Lake Union? The mind boggles.)

In a strange way, I’m glad it happened this way because he seems to have woken up to his harsh reality and is suddenly making much better decisions. It’s strange that perhaps the best gift we could give him was to not give him anything at all in the form of “free rides.” Deep down I knew this all along…

He will be OK.

I discovered my good friend started to write about her experiences as a new mother, but she is like me and has not written much. You should go check her out and encourage her to write more. I think it’s interesting how our parental positions are opposite ends of the child life cycle, but yet oddly complementary. Go tell Kara hello!

2 thoughts on “Conclusion of Week Three of Empty Nest Syndrome

  1. As an adult remembering life as a teen where no safety nets were ever an option, and now having a bonus son who seems to always, and I do mean always, finds an out to every poor choice he has made, I know there is a balance between the two extremes. Your post shows this with the added bonus of actually seeing a positive outcome within historic time. Honestly, it just makes me feel good to read this. Thanks.

    • Thanks, Claud! And I know what you mean about no safety nets when we were younger. I tried my best to make sure he grew up without the feeling of entitlement or false safety of “no consequences” but it was really hard to make sure he learned the same lessons we did. You’re 14; it’s time to get a job — but in this economy and with current child labor laws in WA state, he didn’t get his first job until he was 17, almost 18. Teacher said he’s going to fail an assignment if this this and this don’t happen — then she’s horrified when I tell her that if he doesn’t follow through she needs to fail him on the assignment. What kind of mother am I? A vice-principal reported me to CPS for spanking him once — when he was in junior high. Another teacher told me in front of him that even though he wasn’t working up to par, Seattle Public Schools eliminated the option of having a student repeat a grade. Can you guess what his reaction was? Yup, “you mean I don’t have to do any school work and I will still pass?” I think my kid will be ok because we continued to hold his feet to the fire despite the schools undermining us. I suppose the latest development is a continuation of the feet-to-fire thing. He will be just fine!

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